Cup & Saucer &#...

I used to really like the Cup and Saucer on Hawthorne, but the weekend wait kept getting longer. And it was one of those awkward restaurants with a giant window in the front. Where you look in at the people eating with a face strained with hunger pain, and they look out at you with pity. But not so much pity that they stop...

One Hour Rides: Salt...

In my world, “training” means sitting around the house eating pints of ice cream and watching videos of monkeys riding segways on YouTube. Unless it’s race season, in which case I watch Dancing with the Stars. Because Chloris Leachman gets my heart rate up. But every once in a while, I feel like I need to get...

Kombucha Oct21

Kombucha

Obviously the result of a marketing experiment designed to test the late-90′s discovery that consumers will buy any beverage that comes in an unusual shaped bottle, the makers of kombucha decided to push this law to its limits. Not only would they provide us with less liquid than ever before and charge more for it, but...

Cross Crusade #3: Ra...

Two weeks ago, I swore off cyclocross. To my friends, the decision must have seemed rash, or probably just overly dramatic. After all, I had only really participated in one full race before formulating the life-altering decision to remove myself from the sport forever. But my early retirement was not without good reason and...

NOISE Ride – O...

“To all that ride one speed bikes, like to keep dirt under their tires and don’t suck at life… Saturday, October 18th, for those not familiar, the ride will feature some of, but not all of, and certainly more than the following:Single track,Booze drinking,Sweet jumps,Park shredding,Public urination,Cheap...

PROBAR: The Worlds Most Expensive Energy Bar Oct17

PROBAR: The Worlds M...

I’m consistently amazed by my ability as a grownup to buy anything that strikes my fancy, with little or no approval. It’s this lack over oversight that has allowed me to, in a childish effort to impress shallow people, frivolously and methodically purchase the desired objects of my youth: my racecar bed with black...

Bob’s Red Mill Oatmeal Oct17

Bob’s Red Mill...

I had but one goal for this year’s Cross Crusade: to win oatmeal. The fine grain-magicians at Bob’s Red Mill decided to sponsor these races by giving out free, hot, body-and-soul replenishing oatmeal at races. They also donated large bags of steel cut oats as prizes. Due to a miraculous turn of events I became...

Halloween Race Costume Ideas Oct16

Halloween Race Costu...

It’s just a week and a half until the Cross Crusade Halloween Race in Astoria, and our reader (singular) is interested in costume ideas. As an avowed nudist who considers “pants” and “shoes” part of a “costume” that “the man” makes me wear every day, I’m not sure that...

One Hour Rides: Newberry to Germantown

It would be awesome if every ride we posted was an all day affair, complete with rolling hills and epic views and a picnic of champagne and strawberries, finished off with a sunset hot air balloon ride piloted by Frenchman named Francois, who spends an hour explaining the intricacies of hot air balloon operation, but in French, so we can’t understand him. Unfortunately, we don’t have an hour to learn about hot air balloons, Francois. It’s getting cold and dark these days. I’ve barely got an hour to ride, before I have to get home and tend to my drunkness. So here is a ride that, while not classy, is fast and fun and tiring. Start at the NE Blend coffee shop, with your fingers tightly gripping a cup off coffee. In...

Vendetta

It’s no secret that I like to get drunk. I once read that a glass of red wine each night reduces the risk of heart disease, so I’ve always assumed that larger doses and greater alcohol content could cure all kinds of ailments, including conversational awkwardness, an inability to tell interesting stories, and a...

Easton EC90 Aero Carbon Tubular Wheelset Oct14

Easton EC90 Aero Car...

I’ve got to get something off my chest. I’ve never ridden these wheels, these wheels I’m about to review. I have no experience with them, other than looking at them on other peoples bikes. I know a lot of review sites would frown upon reviewing a product they’ve never used. They’d throw around all...

Cross Crusade #2: Wi...

I had heard that the Wilsonville race was going to be at an abandoned mental institution now haunted by the ghosts of Ken Keasey, Abraham Lincoln, and the guy that played the crazy doctor in Canonball Run. And that the course would route us through the sanitarium, across an ancient Indian burial ground, through a spirit cave,...

Pho Green Papaya

402 SE M L King Blvd Portland, OR 97214 (503) 231-1431 Pho, in all of its soupy splendor, is all I ever really want to eat in the Winter. Maybe not every day, but at least five times a week. I hang my head over the bowl and let my glasses fog up and I make it spicy that I flop sweat like Richard Nixon during the debates...

Make Me a Cyclocross Champion: Training Diary Part 2 Oct10

Make Me a Cyclocross...

Preface: This is Part Two of a Two Part Training Journal that Cait and Dawn are working on for their own zine. This was borrowed – Ok, fine… it was STOLEN – with their permission. I wanted to call it She Said/She Said, but Cait made fun of me. You should buy it when it comes out. Printed on real paper....

Make Me a Cyclocross Champion: Training Diary Part 1 Oct09

Make Me a Cyclocross...

Preface: This is Part One of a Two Part Training Journal that Cait and Dawn are working on for their own zine. This was borrowed – Ok, fine… it was STOLEN – with their permission. I wanted to call it “She Said/She Said”, but Cait made fun of me. You should buy it when it comes out. Printed on real...

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