Cross Crusade #8: Hi...

I’m no Howard Hughes. I don’t believe in any sort of x-second rule for food that has fallen on the floor, and I’d never kick a Hepburn sister out of bed for drinking from the carton. Okay, maybe Kate. But not the hot one. Also, I cut my fingernails and I’m not batshit crazy. The point here is that...

Cross Crusade #7: PIR – November 9, 2008

Let’s be honest: no one really cared about Cross Crusade this week. They just wanted to put on their funny clothes and participate in the SSCXWC. But even though the interest in the regular race was low, people were excited to see the pros that showed up. So the whole thing felt like one of those “very special episodes”. Like the time Deacon Jones showed up on the Brady Bunch to tell Peter that he wasn’t a sissy for being in the school choir. And then he might have done some coke and molested one of the other Brady kids. I’m not sure. That may have been a different very special episode. Anyway, I wasn’t even going to write about it. That’s why it’s Friday and I’m just now getting to...

SSCXWC – Novem...

While there were many memorable events this weekend, the highlight for me was forcing an Olympic cyclist to eat two very large VooDoo doughnuts to qualify for Sunday’s race. Sure, I’ve killed celebrities before. Like the time in high school when I sold Hoyt Axton three pounds of fudge just weeks before he died of a...

Spand and Deliver II

Here are some facts*: 90% of Portlanders are cyclists. 87% of Portland cyclists race cyclocross. 99% of cyclocross racers planned to try to qualify for the SSCXWC the same day that Spand and Deliver II had been scheduled. So the big question was, would anyone show up to our race? Here is a table much like the ones that I am...

YOUBAR Custom Energy Bars Nov10

YOUBAR Custom Energy...

I’d like to continue the sosovelo tradition of what we will call “presumptuous product reviews”, building a healthy catalog of products that we’ve chosen to love before we’ve bothered to try them, in a transparent and feeble attempt to get samples of the product for free. Once we’ve built up...

Tubular Wheelsets Nov07

Tubular Wheelsets

A more respectable bike blog would pick a brand of tire, then a particular model from that brand, and they’d go ride it around and talk about its “handling” and its “grip” and the “pattern “of its “knobs”. But I don’t know what any of those words mean, because...

Hope is (often) just potential dissapointment Nov04

Hope is (often) just...

I’ve been told by a reader that the site is too “cynical” and “negative”. And so I’d like to take this opportunity to say something sarcastic and hateful to that reader. But I can’t. First, because there are laws in the country against it. And second, because I’m too happy right...

XV (the “teener”)

I hated this bar initially because Roman numerals in a name are lame. Especially when it’s isn’t clear that they are numbers. I mean, how the fuck should I know this place isn’t called “Ex Vee” rather than “15″? It doesn’t have enough digits! Roman numeral usage should be proportial to the size of the number, which is why XV looks like a gender, but MCMXCVIII looks like a Superbowl! And that leads to the real problem with Roman numerals; they’ve been usurped by meatheads for their fraternal organizations, sporting events, and bars that watch ESPN.  15 SW Second Ave Portland, OR 97204 Phone: (503) 790-9090 Luckily, we’re taking them back (“we” being non-meatheads)....

Cross Crusade #6: Ba...

The best part of the muddy cyclocross races are they way that they make the racers look shell-shocked. Like they just fought the Battle of the Bulge. And lost. But one thing that is clear after a race like this; our crazy-eyed mouth-breathing spandex clad army would have totally dominated the Great War (or as my great uncle...

Skyline to Logie Tra...

This one started at at Beulahland with a bloody Mary, because some times you need something hearty to start your day, but you just don’t feel like wasting the energy to chew. Or at least that’s what my nanna used to say. Though she had no teeth, and was usually talking about high-in-calcium Ensure. And I realize...

EVENT: Spand and Del...

Adnan Kadir, cycling coach to the stars (and by “stars” I mean some of my friends) is leaving town for a year. He mentioned that Spand and Deliver was THE MOST FUN HE’D HAD AT A RACE THIS YEAR. So I decided to qucikly come up with a farewell race in his honor. Everything was coming together...

The Coffee Plant

Recent studies have discovered that bike-related economic activity in Portland is experiencing an unprecedented boom, as record new jobs are created to service the flourishing industry market.  This is pretty great news in these troubled financial times, but unfortunately the study fails to include one key area of the bicycle...

New Seasons Hot Wok Oct30

New Seasons Hot Wok

I really like when food establishments trust me enough to serve myself for a set price. It makes me feel like a grown up. Like a valued and respected member of society. Unfortunately, I also really love to take advantage of this trust they’ve given me and I use it to serve myself the greatest amount of food possible....

Cross Crusade 4 & 5: Astoria – October ...

I was already on the fence about going to Astoria for the weekend. It was a long trip and a lot of money that could have easily been spent on other things, like the delicate lemon shortbread cookies from the New Seasons bakery. For the same price as my trip to the beach this weekend, I would probably be able to buy enough of these cookies to fill up a large plastic childrens swimming pool. Then I would climb into the cookie pool and try to eat my way out. For a cx racer of my limited abilities, this seemed like an equally rational alternative to driving 2 hours each way and spending 2 solid days riding and discussing bikes and bike racing. But there was one thing that swayed me towards Cross Crusade races #4 and #5: Bob’s Red Mill...

Shimano Recalls Dura...

I had been hearing rumors all year that these wheels sucked, but apparently they suck so bad that you can get your money back. According to the CPSC, the “rim surface and spoke hole plugs on the wheel can cause a puncture to the inner tube, resulting in a flat tire.” They add, “this can cause the rider to lose...

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