One Hour Rides ̵...

Okay, so I can’t do this ride in an hour. But I really wanted other people to do it, and come home thinking “Wow, that Editor is fast!” But it isn’t true. I’m not fast. And I can’t do this ride in an hour. This is why in high school I was voted “most likely to lie to make...

Banana Belt #2 ̵...

Outraged by my previous blog assertion that the Banana Belt race series is devoid of jokes and gags, the folks down at the OBRA pulled out all the prank-stops today. Not only was the race scheduled for THE DAY daylight savings begins (robbing us of one sweet hour of morning sleep), but they also had it on a day with predicted...

Raise your hands. If you’re sure. Mar05

Raise your hands. If...

I learned how to ride with no hands when I was a wee lad. I thought it made me look cool. The same way my trapper keeper and Boba Fett underoos T-shirt made me look cool. I knew that underoos were made for bedtime and handlebars were made for holding. But rules be damned, I looked awesome! I remember one time I was trying to...

Banana Belt #1 ̵...

Unlike some other poorly titled bike races that imply the presence of baked goods that aren’t there, the Banana Belt is well stocked with actual bananas. The waiver sheet tables are laden with cornucopias (cardboard boxes) full of fruit for all. I have no complaints there. But let me ask you, what do think of when you think...

The Cycling Investment Program Feb27

The Cycling Investme...

I think that we’re all in agreement that I’m not particulary smart. I’d be lucky to be described as “mildly incoherrent”. Which explains why I do a little happy dance each morning when I tie my shoes using that “rabbit goes into the whole” mnemonic device. But I wasn’t able to...

Go green or go home

As a cycle tour leader, I was recently asked to participate in a magazine article about “green travel”.  “Green travel”, “going green”, and all the corresponding consumer terms making up the “green” movement are an endless source of exasperation for me, but I decided to brush aside my cynicism and leap at...

Sublime in Sublimity...

I actually thought I was going to see a Sublime reunion show in Sublimity, OR until I pulled up and saw all these people with bikes…But since I was already there I decided to just do the race anyway. The internet defines sublime as: “Inspiring awe; worthy of adoration or reverence” I define this race...

Cherry Pie Road Race...

I get nervous before bicycle races. Really nervous, like with body shakes and everything. And I am most nervous after taking a few months off from racing. So today I decided to just get it over with by doing the Cherry Pie Road Race in beautiful Albany, OR. Sadly I received a crushing blow upon my arrival: there is not any...

Palette Factory – 64 Miles

I’ve got nothing to say about North Plains and I blame the winter. Early this season I was really excited to ride. Anywhere. It was so sunny and brisk all the time. But now when I ride, I’m spending all of my time thinking about future rides in the sun. So even when it gets sunny on Winter rides, I don’t notice. Because I’m already upset with my current ride for the Winter-ness that it has the potential to display. The same way a lousy dog owner will sit around with a rolled up newspaper just waiting for the rug-peeing that every untrained puppy has the potential to commit. Stop peeing on my rug, Winter. I tried to talk to Tommy about my magic Xbox, that streams movies and plays weird Japanese import games from the...

Breaking Up is Hard to Do Feb13

Breaking Up is Hard ...

Racing for a team is like being in a relationship. Many of us pick a cycling team when we’re young and impressionable. Experimenting. Dabbling in cycling and justifying our team-less bachelorhood with excuses like “No, I really like my new Tickle Me Elmo Primal Wear jersey!” We’re often on the fence...

Milwaukie – ? ...

I just found out that it is illegal in the state of Oregon to do hilly rides at the beginning of the year. Obviously as a law-abiding cyclist, I was instantly ashamed and appalled at my multiple West Hills/Tabor-related offenses from last year. And while I don’t want to accuse our fine state of unjust legislature, I have...

I copy your copy Feb02

I copy your copy

People assume that anyone who’s been a messenger for as long as I have must love riding bikes above all else.  This is not necessarily true in my case–while I certainly enjoy biking more than your average bear, there are arguably greater joys in life that could be translated into various full-time jobs.  Foreman...

What has become of me? Jan27

What has become of m...

Last month I randomly purchased a carbon fiber bicycle. I know, crazy right? I wasn’t really in the market for any sort of new bike, but I ended up borrowing this one from a friend and loving it. It fit perfectly and just felt right. So when she mentioned that she was selling it, I threw caution to the wind, and with the help...

The Black Cat

In light of recent preemptive attacks on my beloved coffee shop of choice, The Black Cat, I feel a certain responsibility to leap in with  a defense plan.  First of all, allow me to assert the controversial  reality that The Black Cat is the greatest coffee shop of all time.  Yes, I said it.  THE GREATEST. No, the coffee...

Coffeehouse 5

Despite my obsession with all puns, the name Coffeehouse 5 did not initially sit well with me. Calling a coffee shop a “coffee house” makes me think of weird, fake-Beatnik types, like Mike Meyers in So I Married An Axe Murderer. But Coffeehouse 5 (Or CH5 as Cait and I call it in our text messages) has slowly...

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