Kings Valley Road Ra...

Kings Valley is a town founded by lazy people. I discovered this by searching the internet, which is the primary source of information for lazy people. If I had what old people call “gumption,” I would go to the historical society and try to learn more about it. But that sounds time consuming. You know, going...

Titanium Blades and Competition Rubbers Apr10

Titanium Blades and Competition Rubbers

I just got a table tennis catalog in the mail. It’s called Paddle Palace, and it has everything that the competitive table tennis player could ever need. I want to call it ping pong, but I think that might be like calling a little person a “midget”. I put the catalog on the back of the toilet because I think it’s funnier than the other things on the back of the toilet, like my hand knitted toilet paper cozy and back issues of Readers Digest. The catalog is full of action shots of serious and sweaty table tennis players. I can’t tell if these people are table tennis celebrities, or just models dressed up as professional table tennis players. It’s awesome either way. If I were attractive, I would put...

De Ronde – Apr...

I was dubious about doing the Ronde non-race, hill-a-thon race. I worried that it would be a cold, brutal dude-fest and that I would get dropped immediately. But it was actually really fun. I met some friends before the start and together we went to the meeting spot. As we rode, other cyclists started appearing at our sides, as...

Birdland – 55 miles

In the kitchen area at work they have stash of tea. Usually it’s just the awful Lipton variety. But today they had something different. Something special. It was called New Mother tea. It promotes lactation. I don’t know what “lactation” is, but I assume that it is similar to “endurance” and that it is a byproduct of “electrolytes” and “antioxidants”. I always hear my more athletic friends talking about their lactation threshold and their lactation acids. So I made some. I’m drinking it now. I can’t tell if I’m lactating more than usual because I don’t have a power meter. But my cheeks are flush and I feel a warm glow. I wish I’d had some of this...

Garmin Forerunner 301 Mar22

Garmin Forerunner 30...

I love my Garmin GPS thingy. buy ff14 gil I kinda like it because it tells me how far I’ve gone and how fast I’m going and what time it is. But I really like it because it lets me map out my ride, just like that kid in the Family Circus. And unlike the kid in the Family Circus, I can make my route spell out swear...

Banana Belt #4: Marc...

I took 5 bananas. I ate two, but the rest I took home to put on my morning oatmeal. Money in the bank!

Interview: Team High School Mar22

Interview: Team High...

I know I say this a lot, but I love teens. And not in a creepy way. I swear. I think I just have a lot of memories of looking up to cooler, older people when I was a teen, and now I feel fully ready to now step into that role. The problem is, most teens don’t really care about the stuff I do. They like their Gossip Girl and...

Spand and Deliver II...

I was waiting for Dawn to finish her interview with Team High School as a review of Spand and Deliver III: Spandier and Deliverier. But those high school kids can’t seem to focus without Ritalin. They’re too busy doing drugs and listening to that damned rock and roll music. AND GET OFF MY LAWN! But I feel like...

Baby Got Back Problems Mar17

Baby Got Back Proble...

So, the other day I really messed up my back. I didn’t do it, as one would suppose, doing any of the many extreme sports I participate in. Nor did this injury occur during one of my many feats-of-strength moves: opening difficult jar lids, taking out the recycling, refilling and then reinstalling the water cooler bottle...

Bottom Bracket Mar16

Bottom Bracket

As I continue my fool’s tour of bicycle anatomy, let me guide you to the next in a long line of misunderstood components: the bottom bracket. While its job seems to be a pretty simple one (connect the two crank arms and spin!), the bottom bracket acts like that crappy employee that we all have at our respective jobs, the...

One Whole Chicken In A Can Mar16

One Whole Chicken In...

I’m a pretty lousy cyclist, and like to find excuses why this is the fault of someone or something else. Like Sarah Palin. Todays excuse is my diet, which is 90% bread and cookies and 10% ice cream. Or “gelato” if I’m feeling fancy. My diet lacks protein. Luckily, I’ve discovered One Whole Chicken...

Firehouse

I really love it when I put a dollar in the vending machine at work and my Twix gets stuck. Then watching the vending machine angrily process it’s failure like R2D2, stomping around on it’s stubby little legs, before it sighs and concedes, dropping a second Twix bar for free. I know that this is anthropomorphizing the...

Banana Belt #2.5 or 3 – March 15, 2009

I was going to try to write a race report about the 2nd (technically the 3rd) Banana Belt, but what can you say about a race that you just did a few weeks before? The only real difference was the rain and the lack of personalized birthday cakes (I am petitioning for those to be a weekly thing next year). So instead, I think I’ll use this internet time to talk about my plan to become a true professional cyclist. Now, I don’t know if you guys have noticed, but bike races cost a lot! Even more than last year. If someone asked me to go see a band or go out to a dinner that would cost me $25*, I wouldn’t even consider it. But somehow I am willing to shell out that much – plus gas money – almost weekly to do...

SRAM shifters Mar13

SRAM shifters

Since purchasing a bike with the rumored-superior SRAM components, many people have asked me how I like it. The girl I bought my bike from raved about how great it was. More and more people seem to be switching over to it. And the SRAM chains cost more than the Shimano ones, so they must be doing something right. But as far as...

One Hour Rides ̵...

Okay, so I can’t do this ride in an hour. But I really wanted other people to do it, and come home thinking “Wow, that Editor is fast!” But it isn’t true. ugg soldes I’m not fast. And I can’t do this ride in an hour. This is why in high school I was voted “most likely to lie to make...

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