Palette Factory – 64 Miles

I’ve got nothing to say about North Plains and I blame the winter. Early this season I was really excited to ride. Anywhere. It was so sunny and brisk all the time. But now when I ride, I’m spending all of my time thinking about future rides in the sun. So even when it gets sunny on Winter rides, I don’t notice. Because I’m already upset with my current ride for the Winter-ness that it has the potential to display. The same way a lousy dog owner will sit around with a rolled up newspaper just waiting for the rug-peeing that every untrained puppy has the potential to commit. Stop peeing on my rug, Winter. I tried to talk to Tommy about my magic Xbox, that streams movies and plays weird Japanese import games from the...

Breaking Up is Hard to Do Feb13

Breaking Up is Hard ...

Racing for a team is like being in a relationship. Many of us pick a cycling team when we’re young and impressionable. Experimenting. Dabbling in cycling and justifying our team-less bachelorhood with excuses like “No, I really like my new Tickle Me Elmo Primal Wear jersey!” We’re often on the fence...

CX Education

As I near the end of my first season of racing, let’s look back on the knowledge gained and lessons learned during the Cyclocross Race Season of ought-eight, which Alan Greenspan wearily describes as “irrationally exuberant”. These nuggets of wisdom contain a number of words that I do not understand, but I...

Sauvie Island – 42 Miles

First off, Sauvie Island is Sauvie Island. Not possessive (like Gilligan’s) and not plural (like the San Juans). Just Sauvie. Let’s all get together on this. Sauvie. Island. Second, it’s beautiful. Beautiful and boring. Like Akira Kurasawa movies. For my riding pleasure, I almost don’t think that you can get more boring. Just flat and straight. With traffic. So riding to Sauvie Island is all about the company. My company on this ride is Dawn. And Dawn is always splendid company. On the way out there we talked about normal ride things. Like bike parts and bike racing and boners. I think these are normal ride conversations because they always get discussed with the people I ride with. But as time passes, I’ve...

Albina Press –...

I already like the Albina Press as a pre-ride meeting spot. And I already wrote about it. But now there is another one. It’s almost exactly the same. Except it’s on Hawthorne. Not Albina. But it’s called Albina Press. On Hawthorne. I know, I don’t get it either. But stay with me. Just like the other...

Powertap Jan14

Powertap

I like to talk a lot of shit about the Powertap, but I think I need to make my motivations clear. I don’t hate the powertap; I just don’t know how it works. It’s new and scary and confusing. And rather than learn how this devil tool does it’s voodoo magic, I’d rather treat it the same way that Joe...

Road Trip: Bishop, C...

Bishop is where people who live in LA go to rock climb. It’s actually where lots of other people go to rock climb too, but the LA people are easy to identify becayse they walk around the grocery stores, tan and shirtless, with bleached dreads, saying “bra” and “sick” a lot. They like to use...

Shimano Road Pedals Jan08

Shimano Road Pedals

It was the existentialist poet and avid cyclist Donald Rumsfeld who described in his magnum opus, Press Briefing Feb 12, 2002, that there are things that we know and things that we don’t know. But “there are also unknown unknowns, the ones we don’t know we don’t know.” As the war in Iraq rages on,...

Portway Tavern

Sometimes I get sad. I’m a downer. In a general kind of way. My friends and family like to say “you’re no fun at all” and “seriously, I’m not joking, you’re dragging this party down, please leave.” But my pediatrician once told me: “When life gets you down, ‘lil...

Now is the winter of our content Dec27

Now is the winter of...

As we enter the Winter season, it’s become obvious to me that this website is going to spend a few months in a bear-like state of bike blog hibernation. Sure, we’ll keep writing things. But they’ll suck. The “Routes” and “Races” sections of the site will grow dusty while the...

Road Trip: Lake Tahoe [Flume Trail] – 23 Mil...

I went to high school in Western Nevada, between Reno and Tahoe. I was new to the area and everyone hated me. I think that I may have threatened the Okies with my big city ways, including pegging my pants and listening to Bell Biv Devoe.  Or they may have just hated me because I’m a prick. But I’m pretty sure that the pants pegging didn’t help. At one point during my freshman year, after coming to terms with the fact that no one would ever want to be my friend, I did what any 14 year old girl would do: I stalked a celebrity. I knew that Greg Lemond had lived near my neighborhood. He went to my high school. I had an art teacher that was keeping a bunch of his miserable paintings because she thought they would be priceless...

Stumptown – Be...

The last time I went to the Belmont Stumptown to meet for one of the local celebrity team rides, one of the local celebrities farted. And one of the other local celebrities called it out. Like this. “Hey, one of you farted.” And everyone nodded and mumbled in agreement. And then everyone looked around for obvious...

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