TRP CX9 Mini V-brakes Nov16

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TRP CX9 Mini V-brakes

I’ve never seen “Fiddler on the Roof,” but I heard the opening song Tradition one time when I was 14 because I wanted to make out with a girl named Gretchen who was really into musical theater.  I don’t know any of the words, but the tune gets stuck in my head every time someone buys something stupid for their cross bike because “cross culture” tells them to. Often, I am that stupid person.

Technologically, I can understand the backlash against disc brakes, because they’re obvious and garish and they make you look like that guy that got up-sold on all of the commuter components when he bought his bike. Also, they look heavy. And looking light while racing is the Liz Lemon perfect jeans booty shake of the cycling world.

I can also understand the anti-DI2 sentiment, because that stuff is like the Segway of bike components. I’m sure it’s amazing to ride, but if you put that shit on your bike you’d better be prepared to either win or kick someone in the face.

To rebel against mini v brakes, however, is to rebel against mechanical advantage. And that’s a pretty difficult argument to make. They aren’t even expensive, so you don’t have to break out into If I Were A Rich Man.* Yes. I get it. Tradition. But there are lots of traditions in the world that I choose to ignore. Like regular bathing. Or Seppuku.

Traditional canti brakes are the Sarah Palin of the cyclocross world, revelling boastfully in their lack of progress. You know who else hated mechanical advantage? Nicholas II. Though in his defense, I think that Rasputin was behind most of his component purchases, because he was the one with the account at QBP. Little known fact: he also hated musical theater.

So how is this for a review. I don’t own these newfangled TRP CX9 Mini V-brakes. But I’m going to give them 5 stars. Or ten. No… ELEVEN STARS. Because just talking about these brakes slowed my bike down better than the cantis I have on there now.

Even the cavemen used levers, for fuck sake. Grock think canti inefficient tool for stopping. Grock rub rock on carbon rim instead. Grock think tradition stupid like Sarah Palin. Grock think mini v brake Miracle of Miracles**.

* That’s another fiddler joke for the people that haven’t tried to make out with musical theater girls.
** Another Fiddler song, if Wikipedia is to be believed.

Here’s a funny video. Please accept this as my apology for the time you wasted reading my review.