2010 Cross Crusade #4: PIR Oct24

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2010 Cross Crusade #4: PIR

Click for PIR photos

Don’t get me wrong, that PIR race was super fun. But if I had it all to do over again, I would have spent my afternoon in bed eating a 5 pound bag of trick or treat sized Snickers bars and watching season two of Veronica Mars, while trying to figure out the Scooby Doo endings before they become obvious. Because that show is awesome! It’s like Murder She Wrote. Only hotter. As if that were even possible.

But I didn’t. I went and got all shivery at PIR while it rained buckets. Usually I carry around a blankie with me whenever I go somewhere with lots of people, because I’m socially awkward and the blankie gives me something to talk to (“Well hello there, blankie…”) But I didn’t have a blankie this time, so I just wandered around. Awkward. And cold. And then to make things more awkward, I went and drank a watermelon Four Loko in the bushes with an unnamed accomplice, like hobos, because I thought it might make me feel warmer.Which it did, almost immediately, thanks to the combination of toxic chemicals and malt liquor. But I didn’t think about how it would feel 30 minutes later when, during a race, my stomach would remind me that I’d just consumed a watermelon flavored Four Loko. I didn’t even bother to eat my free oatmeal, and I love free shit.

The highlight was when I went in the tent and stood next to the heater and it made my crotch steam. Because a steamy crotch is a funny crotch. Also, crotch is an awful word.

And here are some visuals to help you wrap your head around the race that was.

Slow motion video of Tony bunny hopping that weird WWII bunker:

Flickr Video

Slow motion video of Matt bunny hopping that weird WWII bunker:

Flickr Video

Shunter looking like the lead electroniker of an awesome Euro electronika band:

And here’s a baby in a watermelon eating his way out: