Sodastream Jul28

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Sodastream

I just bought a carbonated water machine. I bought it because I like carbonated water more than flat water. And because Mark has one, and I want to be more like Mark. I showed it to C, and her first question was “Can you carbonate urine?” but I explained that the instructions recommend that you only carbonate water. We agreed that the best option would be to create a cocktail of urine and carbonated water. So we spent a little while trying to come up with good names for pee-based aperitifs. Names included:

Pizz
Urine God’s Hands
The Flushing Meadows

The problem with having a carbonated water machine is that now I just want to carbonate everything. I want to make my entire salmon and asparagus dinner bubbly. Sam was just telling me about a drink he invented that consists of a 4loko, a Five Hour Energy, and an alka seltzer. We named it the 4lokomotive (or “Crazy Train” if you’re hustling it on the street.) That last time Sam and I worked on an elixer together, we invested the Mimosa 20/20, which was Orange Jubilee flavored MD 20/20 mixed with Miller High Life, the Champaign of Beers.

I really want to add carbonation to all of these things.

But back to the Sodastream. How does it work? Like this: You screw a giant tire inflator into a plastic tower. Then you stick a bottle of water under it and press a big button until the machine farts. Then you have water with bubbles.

Urine sold separately.