Cross Crusade #5-6: Astoria – October 31, 2009

Posted by Editor on Nov 5, 2009 in Race Reports | 4 comments

This weekend a bunch of bike racers went to Astoria. At the time it seemed like fun. But now that I’ve been reading the internet it sounds like it was mostly miserable, and I just remembered it wrong. For me, it comes down to this simple relaization: I’m happy to spend time with people who drink beer, but I think I’d rather spend less time with the people who talk about drinking beer. At some point, drinking beer should be a thing that you do, rather than a thing that you try to impress people by telling them that you do it. Quietly drinking a beer is pretty awesome in most circumstances. But yelling “I’m drinking a fucking beer, bro!” is not awesome. It’s kind of dumb.

Anyway, Astoria was full of people yelling “I’m drinking a fucking beer, bro!”

Saturday was wet and muddy. I don’t know what happened on Saturday night. I think people had a bonfire and yelled to each other about drinking beer. I went to Ross Dress For Less and bought potpurri, some floral print capris, and lovely decanter.

Sunday was magical. We took turns jumping on our hotel bed. We dressed up our dog like a canine prostitute. We drank coffee. Quietly. Without yelling “I’m drinking some fucking coffee, bro!” We watched a giant robot chase bike racers. We asked the giant robot to pretend to walk into a portapotty so we could take funny pictures of a giant robot trying to use a portapotty. We raced our bikes poorly. We played around in the middle of the highway after it was shut down for an accident. We drove home listening to the Pixies.