HR Challenge: Terminator Jul09


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HR Challenge: Terminator

Most of the time I’m all talk. Cait, Joino, and I have started scads of businesses and movie scripts and dance contests – in theory – but we rarely follow through and actually bring any of these schemes into being. Well, last night we broke this chain of inaction and followed through with a plan: we watched the movie Terminator while wearing heart rate monitors so as to measure its intensity.

terminator copyReally, the credit must be given to Sam, who wisely pushed us to make solid plans for this fine evening. And coincidentally, I just got (“got” = borrowed for eternity) a heart rate monitor. Due to my avid luddite cyclist aesthetic, I have yet to use it. I figured the T1 viewing party would be as good a time as any to give it a try and get all my HR numbers and levels figured out.

According to my data my threshold is fairly low.

In fact, throughout the entire movie, which I assumed could be referred to as a “thrill-ride”, the three of us using the monitors were legally dead. We averaged 50-70 heartbeats.

Sam got up to a whopping 125 at the brief glimpse he got of Sarah Connor’s nipples and sexy sheet grabbing.

Joino “busted” 100 when Sam yelled the word boner at him a lot.

I made it to the mid 90′s watching my air popper make popcorn. Not even the famous eye removal scene could get our tickers a’ tockin’.

This Tuesday we’re going to give T2 a try. I haven’t seen it since I was a teen or maybe even a pre teen, but I can feel my heart rate go up just by thinking about the part where the Terminator gives a thumbs-up as he disappears into some kind of vat of urban lava. And what about when the bad, liquid-metal Terminator stabs his sword-arm through a milk carton and throat of a lady? That’s just fucked up.

Also, at one point when they are panning across a shot of young John Connor’s room, you see a transparency (like one you’d use to burn a silk screen) for the band Social Distortion…but it actually reads SOCIAL DISTORTIOZ. So they wouldn’t have to pay the band money, I guess. Sam and I are starting a Terminator-themed Social Distortion cover band called Social Distortioz, where we change all the lyrics to be about the movies. Our first album is called “Have you seen this boy?” We’re going to go on tour with the guy that made a techno remix of Christian Bale freaking out on the set of Terminator Salvation (his band is called Tech Noir).

It’s going to be pretty great.

I am sure I will have a lot more to say about T2 after revisiting it this Tuesday. Once we get our HR averages for the movie series figured uot we’ll then compare them with the Jurassic Park and Tremors series’ (that’s right, there’s more than one Tremors). Eventually we should be able to determine the most intense movie of all time.