Sports movies are better than other movies because sports movies know that you have to put an awesome song right before people are about to do something awesome. Like when the Karate Kid is whupping some surfer dude ass, and they’re playing that “You’re the Best” song by someone that no one has ever...

I’m not one to make excuses, but I haven’t written anything lately because I’ve been in Switzerland. The big one. I was there researching this ride in Oregon, the little one, the one you’re reading about right now. It was a long flight just to check facts that I’ll be fabricating anyway, so now...

I’ve seen the future, and it isn’t that cool. We’re getting dangerously close to 2015 of Back to the Future, and we have almost nothing to show for it. We were supposed to have some Jetson’s shit going, with conveyor belts and video phones and whiny robots that complain about cleaning up. Instead,...

We recently received an unsolicited request for advice. Weird. I know. But the editorial staff discussed and agreed to answer. Because we’re obviously knowledgeable about all kinds of shit. Like boners. And Burt Reynolds movies. And… mostly boners and Burt Reynolds movies. But it’s a crime to keep it to...

When I’m not busy worrying about the swine flu pandemic or the collapse of our delicately balanced financial system, I like to kick back with tall boy and worry about volcanoes. And I’ve just learned that we’re living on a SUPER VOLCANO. What’s the difference between a regular volcano and a super...

Selfishly, I’ve always dreamed that a natural disaster would come along sharing my first name. Not necessarily the kind of Class 5 Kill-storm that callously wrecks entire cities and lives, but something with the audacity to turn a few heads—something inevitably allowing me to cheerfully clip headline articles reading...