Yes, we’re still in Texas, and all’s quiet on the Southern Tier. The thrill of crossing state borders has gradually faded into a vague memory as we continue to pedal our way across the vast, unsettled frontier known as the Lone Star State. “Everything” is supposedly bigger here, including the trucks,...
EVENT: Chickenball R...
posted by Editor
I don’t usually talk about upcoming events. But this one had Burt Reynolds and Dom Deluise on the flyer. They even put Dom in the Captain Chaos outfit that I loved so much growing up. So this event is already the best bike race that has ever not yet been raced in the history of future bike races. The race is on May 2nd...
Eugene Roubaix – April 18, 2009
posted by Dawn
The race started out well matched and fast paced: Sam Nicoletti and I both attended the Eugene Roubaix, even going so far as to get a ride in the same van. We both observed all the glories that rural Oregon hatched up for us this fine day. We both put on spandex and rode around in large circles competitively. Then, at the end, we both kicked it in big ring and got ready to blog about it. You see I am not much of an internet surfer. Sometimes I check some email, occasionally I google things, and once in a while I do some online banking. But then my friend told me that I should really read Sam Nicoletti’s blog. And I did and found it to be just as hilarious and un-race-related as sosovelo. So now I feel both compelled to continue...
12 Bridges Gin
posted by Editor
This is a review of gin, written in the style of a drunken middle school book report. Gin is alcohol that tastes like delicious pine trees. There are many types of gin, but only some of them taste delicious. Aristrocrat brand is an example of a gin that does not taste good. It does not taste like a delicious pine tree. It tastes like a rotten pine tree. My favorite gin is 12 Bridges. It’s made in Portland and it has a fancy bottle. The quality of gin is best measured by drinking it. But another indicator of alcohol quality is how fancy the bottle is. If the bottle of alcohol you are looking at has a picture of something on the other side of the bottle, visible through the alcohol, it is probably high quality and expensive. 12...
Vernonia Century ...
posted by Editor
Let me offer you my account of the descent into madness that will from this point forward be called simply Vernonia. Named after the village at the halfway point of a celebrated 100 mile ride, I knew Vernonia only as a marker on the logging map from the hit Discovery Channel television show “Xtreme Culinary Disasters of...
She’ll do the ...
posted by Cait
Now that we’re deep into the heart of Texas, our fourth state, we’re starting to build up some credibility for the whole “where did you start/where are you headed?” interrogation. It’s always awkward announcing your plans to bicycle across the country when you’re still within commuter range...
Kings Valley Road Ra...
posted by Editor
Kings Valley is a town founded by lazy people. I discovered this by searching the internet, which is the primary source of information for lazy people. If I had what old people call “gumption,” I would go to the historical society and try to learn more about it. But that sounds time consuming. You know, going...
SRAM shifters
posted by Dawn
Since purchasing a bike with the rumored-superior SRAM components, many people have asked me how I like it. The girl I bought my bike from raved about how great it was. More and more people seem to be switching over to it. And the SRAM chains cost more than the Shimano ones, so they must be doing something right. But as far as...
Titanium Blades and Competition Rubbers
posted by Editor
I just got a table tennis catalog in the mail. It’s called Paddle Palace, and it has everything that the competitive table tennis player could ever need. I want to call it ping pong, but I think that might be like calling a little person a “midget”. I put the catalog on the back of the toilet because I think it’s funnier than the other things on the back of the toilet, like my hand knitted toilet paper cozy and back issues of Readers Digest. The catalog is full of action shots of serious and sweaty table tennis players. I can’t tell if these people are table tennis celebrities, or just models dressed up as professional table tennis players. It’s awesome either way. If I were attractive, I would put...
De Ronde – Apr...
posted by Dawn
I was dubious about doing the Ronde non-race, hill-a-thon race. I worried that it would be a cold, brutal dude-fest and that I would get dropped immediately. But it was actually really fun. I met some friends before the start and together we went to the meeting spot. As we rode, other cyclists started appearing at our sides, as...
Keep on truckin̵...
posted by Cait
Leaving Tempe, we set out through seemingly endless Phoenix sprawl before crawling back out into the open desert. The mountains loomed closer and closer, and legions of tall Saguaro cacti burst out of each rolling foothill like the spotty aftermath of one of those Biore pore strips. Naturally, I resumed my quest to find the...
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