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Baby Got Back Problems

So, the other day I really messed up my back. I didn’t do it, as one would suppose, doing any of the many extreme sports I participate in. Nor did this injury occur during one of my many feats-of-strength moves: opening difficult jar lids, taking out the recycling, refilling and then reinstalling the water cooler bottle at work. No friends, this horrendous malady struck while I was having a picnic. There we were (Jesse, Zack, and I), just enjoying a bromantic sunset at the bluffs when a shooting pain struck the ol’ lower back region. Buy FF14 items Now I’m no doctor, but I believe I did what any other medical professional would suggest in this situation: a series shake-face and jumping photos. Still, the next morning I could barely walk without making several grampa-esque groans. So in lieu of giving my out-of-town visitors the tour of my usual epic Portland life, we just “took it easy”. Now for those of you reading this who, like me, feel some strange urge to train and compete in the art of physical activities you’ll surely understand the desire to take a break. I myself barely work (for money), but somehow I still feel busy all the time. This is because even a “1-2 hour ride” ends up taking a lot longer when you factor in after-ride shower and foodfest. And then you’re usually lazy and ready to just enjoy a well-deserved sit-around. I always assumed that if I weren’t riding I’d be getting all the other stuff I put off done. The sad truth I discovered last week is that there is no “other stuff”. I have simplified my life down to work, school (when applicable), riding, and cooking/eating. Sometimes I do crosswords, but usually they go with food, so I didn’t give them their own category. Sure, occasionally I’ll watch an action sci-fi thriller while wearing a heart rate monitor or write a play about elderly vampires or play guitar in an acoustic alternative band with my friend Cool Breezeā€¦but these aren’t everyday tasks that I can just go to when my body stops working. The only answer to my quandary was to smoke a ton of pot (medicinally) and watch a lot of DVDs (also medicinally). The first few days of this were nothing short of fantastic. Well, okay, slightly short of fantastic due to the fact that I was in pain the whole time. But the relaxathon was really liberating. By day 3 I had totally OD’d on leisure and started feeling crazy. I am glad to report that I am now on the mend. And I emerge from my back-imposed hibernation with MOVIE REVIEWS! (In chronological order of when I saw them) 1) Adventureland What is it about movies with young people that I am supposed to relate to that gives them the right to have no real plot?! Are you calling my peers and I boring? Seriously, this movie is about a guy who is trying to be Michael Cera and the girl from Twilight liking each other but not doing anything about it. And then they DO do something about it, Roll credits. 2) Earth Girls Are Easy This movie is the exact fucking opposite of Adventureland. EVERYTHING happens. Everything. And Jeff Goldblum has a l,ovetouch. And it’s a musical, but you don’t even really notice that it is. It is the sole reason I am applying to school in LA. 3) The deleted scenes from Dirty Dancing There are really only 2 worth watching. One I think is called “Take My Stan” and it’s just Dennis Nedry telling jokes at the end-of-the-summer talent show. He almost vomits laughing at himself and repeats the punch line a lot and sweats profusely. So my dumb brother in law says to me, “have taken a bath recently?” And I say, “No, is one missing?” The other scene is aptly titled “Dirty Dancing”. In this scene Baby and Patrick Swayze dry hump/dance for much longer than we need to see. louboutin chaussures There are a lot of intense hip movements that make me feel funny in a bad way. It raises your heart rate, but lowers your interest in actually seeing Baby and Johnny doing it. Because it is so fucking awkward. 4) The last episode of Gilmore Girls Season 3 During Rory’s high school graduation speech I just started crying. I looked over at Jesse and she had tears streaming down her face too. She just loves her mom so much! Good work Amy Sherman-Palidino. 5) HR Challenge: T2 More Terminator. More Heart rate monitors. We discovered that the really intense scenes actually lower our BPMs because we focus on what’s going on. We are like scientists. 6) The new Harry Potter Movie (#6) She-who-can-certainly-be-named, Caitlin, invited me to see this fine film with her. I usually shy away from full-pricers, but I can never wait for HP to make it to the cheap theaters. I did not leave the theater feeling ripped off at all. adidas nmd The movie is like 5 hours long and is made up of 32% teen awkwardness, 52% wand wielding action, 10% snogging, and 20% creepy living-lake-ghost-terror. adidas gazelle pas cher Seriously I cannot imagine a child watching this. There’s parts where they are obviously using broomsticks as visual euphemisms for boners, a spell that when cast makes all your blood come out, children murdering their elders, Ginny in a revealing robe tying Harry’s shoe laces and feeding him mini quiches, and of course Dumbledore’s old, blackened, withered, Horcrux-destroying hand is always making a cameo. Also, before the movie there was a preview for the upcoming apocalypse film “2012″. At one point a city is sucked up into a tidal wave which then rolls into a bridge which hits a building which smashes a house and starts a massive fireball that a plane flies through into an ice cave causing an avalanche that covers New York igniting yet another fine shot of urban lava. This movie is going to be amazing.