Kombucha

It’s no secret that I like to get drunk. I once read that a glass of red wine each night reduces the risk of heart disease, so I’ve always assumed that larger doses and greater alcohol content could cure all kinds of ailments, including conversational awkwardness, an inability to tell interesting stories, and a general unflattering physical appearance. There is an important social aspect to drinking, as well. There are people out there who drink for negative and unhealthy reasons, but I drink to black out and wake up renewed by false, hazy memories of how fun I was, and how much everyone enjoyed my company. The problem is that none of these drinking qualities work among friends. Because friends will always be there the next day to remind you that, while drunk, you were still unattractive and boring. And this is why I drink at Vendetta.

4306 N Williams Ave
Portland, OR 97217
(503) 288-1085

Vendetta has ample bike parking and a ton of space both inside and out, so if you find yourself acting like an ass in one region of the bar, you can always move to another area and start anew. They have shuffleboard, so that when you’ve exhausted a bar full of people to embarrass yourself around, you can play shuffleboard and wait for a new crop of young, hip drinkers.

My sandwich was delicious, and the beer didn’t have any of the rusted-pipe flavor I get from the dives near my house. The patio is beautiful, and provides plenty of shrubbery’d corners to puke in private, returning to your drinking with your head held high.