Halloween Race Costume Ideas
Posted by Editor on Oct 16, 2008 in Editorial | 4 comments
It’s just a week and a half until the Cross Crusade Halloween Race in Astoria, and our reader (singular) is interested in costume ideas. As an avowed nudist who considers “pants” and “shoes” part of a “costume” that “the man” makes me wear every day, I’m not sure that I’m the best person to ask advice of. My last few Halloweens have been duds, with my previous costumes being poorly received at the family-friendly gatherings I attended. So I can comfortably say that you should avoid dressing as Angry Naked Drunk (2003), Uninvited Angry Naked Drunk (2006), and Guy Passed Out Next to the Only Toilet in the House Where the Party was Hosted (2007). None of these costumes are really good for cycling, anyway.
Other costumes that should be avoided, because there will be at least 40 other people wearing them, include:
- Woman dressed as a fairy
- Man dressed as a fairy (ironic)
- Man dressed as a fairy (earnest)
- “Sexy” anything
- Lance Armstrong (I know you want to make use of that US Postal kit you bought, but don’t)
- Sarah Palin
SO what does that leave us with? Well, as Slim Pickins’ used to say, “my name”. Then he’d introduce the next skit on Hee Haw. There are always options to pick a costume that was tragic, timely and tacky a few years ago, but now funny again. These include Dead Elliott Smith, Dead Left Eye, and Dead Brandon Lee as the Crow. Dead Siskel… not funny. Dead Ebert… funny! Because he isn’t dead. And do not dress as Dead Heath Ledger as the Joker, because high school emo kids are still working that one. And besides, TOO SOON!
Dawn and I had wanted to compete on a tandem as Haulin’ Oates ( I planned to wear the moustache), but she caved to the pressure of legitimate racing and refused to be Hall. Just Oates wasn’t as funny.
Costume-within-a-costume ideas are always winners, because somehow adding two shitty costumes together makes them less shitty. Some of my favorites from the past are the guy who dressed as a redneck dressed as a robot, and the guy that dressed as the Karate Kid dressed as a shower.
When all else fails, just wear that Primal Wear kit you bought at Nashbar 6 years ago.
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-tommy
I wasn’t even going to go to the halloween race due to my extreme lack of money and my not-so-extreme dislike of wearing a costume when it is expected of me…but if you’d play Oates to my Hall, I would change my mind. I am no longer a serious cyclist.
Does ‘oates to my hall’ sound gross? what does that even mean? I’m at school and I’m really tired. halloween and the internet and rock duos are too much for me right now.
“You can be my Oates anytime.”
“Bullshit… you can be MINE.”
*MANLY HUGS*