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Allez vs. Predator: Dopers face 4-year ban

According to Yahoo Sports, cyclists caught doping in ’09 face 4-year bans, doubling the current ban of 2 years. International Cycling Union president Pat McQuaid plans to double the current penalty of two years in “aggravating circumstances.” This now puts hopped up cyclists on the same schedule as the Olympics, US Presidential elections, El Nino, and earthly hunting visits from the Predator (for the scifi geeks out there). Cyclists lacking natural abilities are urged to switch to over-the-counter remedies from 7-11, including NoDoz, 5 Hour Energy, and BUZZZZ!

“There is a bit more flexibility in it, and we can go up to a four-year ban in the cases of something regarded as willful cheating,” McQuaid said. “Considering that these guys were given the product and then went and took it for the Tour de France, it would be very much classified as willful cheating.”